The two housewives in the chic restaurant glittered subtly in diamonds.

" How was the party last night?" Mrs. A asked.

"How is it you need ask?" Mrs. B countered.

"I was much too busy to attend" said Mrs. A who was no such thing.

"It was...fashionable" Mrs. B replied, savoring the fact Mrs. A hadn’t been invited. The Divorce.

"It couldn’t hold a candle to really grand parties of course, the food was served on orange paper plates."

The reason Mrs. A wasn’t an invitee was her recent divorce though she would keep her married name until her next marriage.

Now she asked (in a carefully detached tone)

"..oh, what did they serve?"

"Oh" Mrs B said airily "spring salad, steak and lime shortcake."

That left the million dollar question and according to social protocol Mrs. A took her time (a sip of wine, opening her compact to powder and lighting a cigarette).

Mrs. B also lit up and waited.

"I think I’ll have a proper drink" Mrs. A said cheerfully, apparently no longer interested in the subject at hand.

She signaled the waiter who rushed over with a bottle of vodka which was taken up eagerly and also straight.

The wine was abandon.

It was time.

"Oh" said Mrs. A distractedly "who was there?"

Mrs. B smiled in a rather predatory way..

" It was an intimate soiree really, but there were some interesting people there. "Lot’s of Eurotrash."

Mrs. B appeared suddenly bored.

" There was that artist from New York, the one that paints those freaky nudes. "Brilliant. We own a few of his works. "Let me see...that senator from Alabama. "Now that I think about it it was rather tacky inviting him. "I hear he’s a terrible racist homophobe. "Don’t you agree...tacky?"

"Yes" said Mrs. A gravely "I hear he’s just awful!"

Both women shuddered delicately and took healthy slugs of vodka.

"I would have invited that senator from Utah, he’s an acceptable politician and a delightful man. "We had him for drinks one night."

"We did too" Mrs. A stumbled "before the divorce I mean."

Mrs. B hummed. "When I divorced my fifth husband I took up with razor blades and pills and did all sorts of things. "Tell me, was it a quickie?"

"Las Vegas. "It used to be Mexico but then I don’t need to tell you that!" Mrs. A said rudely.

" I recommend Vegas too. "With all the political warfare down there it’s simply not worth it."

"No" Mrs. A said boozily. They killed the bottle and ordered another.

" I wonder" said Mrs. A "how Cora is? "She went under the knife last week and no one’s heard from her since."

" I’ve never resorted to plastic surgery." Mrs. B lied. She’s resorted to it twice.

" Cora’s already had a boob job and a face peel. "She never said so but I heard she got her snatch tightened too!"

Mrs. B looked shocked then recklessly thought what a good idea that was. Supercunt.

" I’ve though about plastic surgery" Mrs A slurred "but I don’t want to end up looking like Jocelyne Wildenstein."

Mrs. B nodded.

"We has her for drinks once. "Our butler fell in love with her."

On cue they roared with laughter.

"Your butler is gay I hope?" Mrs. A giggled.

"Of course. "One night when my seventh husband was out he took me to a gay bar."

"How was it? "Divine?"

"Oh smashing. "We didn’t come home until breakfast. "I danced the night away. "I even---"

Mrs. B’s head hit the table soon followed by Mrs. A’s.

Their luncheon would be legendary if told properly...over drinks.